Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
