even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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