I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
