Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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