Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
