So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
