Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
