i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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