Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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