Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
