New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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