I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
