So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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