After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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