I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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