K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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