Pregnant stripper...not hot.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
