I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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