And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
