I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
