Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My hand turned me down
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
