the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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