3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize