We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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