dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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