i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
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Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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