This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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