why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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