How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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