Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"