your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When are your genitals available?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.