u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.