I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here