He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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