Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
