great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize