I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
