Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
