just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
