walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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