So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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