I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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