wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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