Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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