did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
