I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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