no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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