remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
