Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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