everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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