I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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