Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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