I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
