everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
