a queef is a wish your heart makes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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