Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
