i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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