He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call