Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
