Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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