hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible