Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Those nachos came to me in a dream