I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.