I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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