he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
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he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
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She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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