Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
