And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
