I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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